Not to dwell on the entertainment industry's perpetual stete of decay, but I have a burning question in my head. How do the people we see all over TV that have no mentionable talent, get on TV? I'll start with Ryan Seacrest. What is his talent? You might be saying, "Oh, That guy!!" "He's great! He uh, introduces people on that show that's so popular! and he uh.............talks! Oh! Oh! and I saw his face on a billboard! yeah.. what a neat guy! "
And you know something?, you're right. I believe that Ryan Seacrest's legacy will live on down through the generations of people who will aspire to one day be like their hero...Ryan Seacrest. They'll spend years perfecting their skills to become someone who truly does his artistry justice!
The next person who's fame is a mystery to me is Donald Trump. If I have a crapload of money and hire a dead fox to sleep on my head I might someday be as famous as Donald Trump. It might be tough, and time-consuming to go through all of those wives, but If I aim to match his greatness I will have to make sacrifices. I will also need to work on developing ingenious and memorable catch-phrases like "you're fired". I'll also need to pay off lots of studio executives to put my filthy rich face on their programs, but it won't be any problem because they'll already be green with envy at my limitless talent. Well at least their pockets will be green with large bills.
The least and not last of these giants of talent is Paris Hilton. Daddy's rich, so I'm famous. Easy enough. but whats the talent? Im sorry but I can't even be sarcastic about making up a talent (unless you include not eating as a talent).
Sadly I don't forsee any improvement in the near future. As long as we as a society watch whatever is on TV, corporations wil shell out less and less money for bigger profit and give up searching for talent when we are satisfied with "reality shows" like "elimi-date", "American Idol", "Survivor", "the Apprentice". None of which I watch, but hey, you don't need to jump into a pile of razor wire to know it doesn't feel good, let alone pay for it.
Note: for the record, when Annette and I aren't watching DVD's of seasons of shows we like "Curb your Enthusiasm" , "Cosby", "Ren & Stimpy", "The Andy Griffith show", and others, we get the snow channel and the sky channel which sometimes features a green number floating in the top right corner of the screen. But don't be fooled that number is immeasurably more entertaining than Donald Trump.
Friday, December 29, 2006
Real men have nothing to prove. (and they're not afraid to wear ties)
Big men come in unassuming packages. ( Buster Keaton, Don Knotts, etc.)
With the exception of Jackie Chan there is no one else today in movies who carries on buster keatons legacy. (Watch their movies and compare). Jackie Chan is actually a huge Buster Keaton fan. Unfortunately today a lot of actors who get leads in movies are male models who got breaks and would rather work on their appearances than their acting skills.
On the other hand I've also noticed that a lot of actors now playing in movies are the complete opposite, they're young, waifish girly male models with collogen injected lips and highlights (see eragon, and anything on cable TV). Do any of them do their own stunts? not really, most of it is green screens and stunt-doubles. If you have an open mind to black & white silent movies (most people don't at first) do yourself a favor and watch a Buster Keaton movie. Annette and I watched "Battling Butler" the other night and we laughed way more than we would at most current movies. I already want to get a box set of his movies. But on the other hand ...if you want to see something with hotpants, fast cars , bad acting, explosions and closet homosexuals, see anything with vin deisel (with the exception of "Saving Private Ryan"). If you like actors that make you think and actually show discretion in the roles they play and the directors they work with (While being manly) see the older movies with Kirk Douglas ( Detective Story, Champion, Lust for Life, Paths of Glory, Lonely are the Brave, etc.), Robert Mitchum (Night of the Hunter, Cape Fear) Sidney Poitier ( The Defiant Ones, A Raisin in the Sun) Glenn Ford (Blackboard Jungle), Chuck Connors (the Rifleman) TV show*, Andy Griffith and Walter Matthau ( A Face In the Crowd). These are some very enjoyable (but not exactly feel-good) movies that paved the way for other great movies, while at the same time surpassing most acting today. Don't be afraid to rent some of those old movies. You'll not be dissapointed.
Note: Read any Buster Keaton Bio on one of his fan sites and see how manly he actually was...just not in an obvious way.
Friday, December 15, 2006
How to behave at a concert.
It makes me laugh when I go to see a band play and people in the audience act like apes. They aren't even necessarily drunk, they just seem to do the dumbest things when they go to a show.
I've noticed that whenever somebody in a band (usually the opening band) takes a sip of beer, people cheer and yell things like "hell yeah!!". It's like "whoa he drinks beer!!! awesome duder!!!" All the while I'm thinking "how refreshing and hydrating is that?" If I was going to spend a lot of energy playing a concert I think I'd be drinking some water or some coffee. I heard The Decendents drink like 8 cups of coffee before each show, (which makes sense if you've heard them play).
Another thing that irks me is whenever the crappy opening band try's to be all "shocking" and "rebellious" (usually in a feeble attempt to mask the fact that they can't actually play music). The formula is simple...cuss. In cussing a lot it will show potential fans that you don't go with the flow!, that you are cooler than bands who just play music and don't engage their (mostly intoxicated) audience in loud vague conversation. Like when the band comes out and says "Whats UUP!!!" how you feelin' tonight?!?! and the audience just goes "yyyeaaah!!" "Woooo!!!". Think about it, when was the last time you had a conversation with someone and when they asked you how you were doing, you said "YYYEEEEAAA!!!!" ? Think about your response to the question. Try yelling out "Pretty good...Thanks!" at a concert, I bet you will be the only one who says anything that doesn't just add to the crowd's noise.
Another way I like to heckle bands that are totally about shock and image is after their first song start loudly chanting "Play one more !!.. Play one more!!" (try to get others to chant along, because , hey they aren't thinking anyway). Theres another sort of game I made up I like to play in concert lines I call "blackshirt". I just walk up and down the line of "hardcore" kids waiting outside with those (two sizes too small) black t-shirts on , and point to each one I see as I walk to the back of the line and just say "blackshirt" every time I pass one. If you play it, you pretty much end up saying it like "blackshirtblackshirtblackshirt" etc. Its fun because all the kids wearing them start looking around at all the other kids who have them on and slowly realize how un-original they are, how a black shirt and butt-tight girls jeans have sort of become their uniform.
It also makes me laugh when guys wear those kinds of clothes but with a scarf on. its like wearing a parka and swimtrunks. T-shirts with scarves it's so pretentious you just have to laugh, but not out-loud, because they might cry to impress their sickly looking cindy lauper wannabe girlfriends and make you look like a bully.
I've noticed that whenever somebody in a band (usually the opening band) takes a sip of beer, people cheer and yell things like "hell yeah!!". It's like "whoa he drinks beer!!! awesome duder!!!" All the while I'm thinking "how refreshing and hydrating is that?" If I was going to spend a lot of energy playing a concert I think I'd be drinking some water or some coffee. I heard The Decendents drink like 8 cups of coffee before each show, (which makes sense if you've heard them play).
Another thing that irks me is whenever the crappy opening band try's to be all "shocking" and "rebellious" (usually in a feeble attempt to mask the fact that they can't actually play music). The formula is simple...cuss. In cussing a lot it will show potential fans that you don't go with the flow!, that you are cooler than bands who just play music and don't engage their (mostly intoxicated) audience in loud vague conversation. Like when the band comes out and says "Whats UUP!!!" how you feelin' tonight?!?! and the audience just goes "yyyeaaah!!" "Woooo!!!". Think about it, when was the last time you had a conversation with someone and when they asked you how you were doing, you said "YYYEEEEAAA!!!!" ? Think about your response to the question. Try yelling out "Pretty good...Thanks!" at a concert, I bet you will be the only one who says anything that doesn't just add to the crowd's noise.
Another way I like to heckle bands that are totally about shock and image is after their first song start loudly chanting "Play one more !!.. Play one more!!" (try to get others to chant along, because , hey they aren't thinking anyway). Theres another sort of game I made up I like to play in concert lines I call "blackshirt". I just walk up and down the line of "hardcore" kids waiting outside with those (two sizes too small) black t-shirts on , and point to each one I see as I walk to the back of the line and just say "blackshirt" every time I pass one. If you play it, you pretty much end up saying it like "blackshirtblackshirtblackshirt" etc. Its fun because all the kids wearing them start looking around at all the other kids who have them on and slowly realize how un-original they are, how a black shirt and butt-tight girls jeans have sort of become their uniform.
It also makes me laugh when guys wear those kinds of clothes but with a scarf on. its like wearing a parka and swimtrunks. T-shirts with scarves it's so pretentious you just have to laugh, but not out-loud, because they might cry to impress their sickly looking cindy lauper wannabe girlfriends and make you look like a bully.
The process of discovery.
I like to think about singers and their process of songwriting, especially people like Tom Jones, I wish I could see him scraping together the blueprints of some deep life-changing song like "Whats New Pussycat?" I especially like to imagine the look on the first person's face that he pitched that song to.
What about the first person who came up with the idea of eating a lobster? Imagine this weird looking insect like thing with a shell and pinchers snapping at you, makes your mouth water doesn't it?
I also like to imagine the first shopping-mall Santa claus to get a bloody nose while on the job. How traumatizing that must have been for all the little kids watching to see that snow-white beard soaked with nose-blood. Or what if he sneezed while he had one? Wow.... Just picture that image on a christmas card.
What about the first person who came up with the idea of eating a lobster? Imagine this weird looking insect like thing with a shell and pinchers snapping at you, makes your mouth water doesn't it?
I also like to imagine the first shopping-mall Santa claus to get a bloody nose while on the job. How traumatizing that must have been for all the little kids watching to see that snow-white beard soaked with nose-blood. Or what if he sneezed while he had one? Wow.... Just picture that image on a christmas card.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
An Argument for Black and White Movies.
Many People I know still refuse to watch a movie if it doesn't happen to be in color. To those who think black & white movies are all the same, let me ask you this... the last few movies you really liked...did you like them because they were made in color? or was it other aspects like the plot, acting, writing and cinematography that made it memorable?
Many people don't realize that when color film became an option, many filmakers refused to make the transition. Many believed what made their movies art, was a director/cinematographer's ability to use shadow and light to perfect their frame composition and put feeling on film without making it obvious.
Today in most people's eye's everything that can be utilized, should be. For instance, though it may not be useful to further a plot most idiots want to see explosions, breast implants, colligen injected faces, recently popular songs straight from the pitiful current one-hit-wonders, special effects, blood, sex, violence and muscles.
Here's a couple movies (filmed in black & white) that also happen to be amazing. "The Night of The Hunter" 1961. "The Defiant Ones", "A Face in the Crowd", "Detective Story" and "Lonely are the Brave". If you still think (after watching these) that all black & white films are a corny lot of irrelevant sentiment creeping out of your grandparents' generation, you just aren't thinking.
Many people don't realize that when color film became an option, many filmakers refused to make the transition. Many believed what made their movies art, was a director/cinematographer's ability to use shadow and light to perfect their frame composition and put feeling on film without making it obvious.
Today in most people's eye's everything that can be utilized, should be. For instance, though it may not be useful to further a plot most idiots want to see explosions, breast implants, colligen injected faces, recently popular songs straight from the pitiful current one-hit-wonders, special effects, blood, sex, violence and muscles.
Here's a couple movies (filmed in black & white) that also happen to be amazing. "The Night of The Hunter" 1961. "The Defiant Ones", "A Face in the Crowd", "Detective Story" and "Lonely are the Brave". If you still think (after watching these) that all black & white films are a corny lot of irrelevant sentiment creeping out of your grandparents' generation, you just aren't thinking.
Wednesday, December 6, 2006
Where are all the old people?
Have you noticed or even cared about the fact that many ww2 vets are dying out? Old people who probably are full of fascinating stories? People who were around when Django Rheinhardt was in his prime are becoming voices our generation dismisses. Instead we are hanging on every word of some idiot on AM radio or MTV about news that has no effect on anything. Music has shifted from talent and complexity to image and attitude. In North America we are one of the only societies that doesn't value our elders. Instead we recycle used up ideas from the 8o's and 90's . I'm sick of the arrogant attitude of most young people today who think the only things that are worth anything are exclusively made in their generation! What's wrong with this picture?
And what the heck is happening to oldies stations??!! now its hits of the 60's, 70's and 80's! what about the 50's?!! If I liked 80's I would listen to an 80's and 90's station. What makes them oldies is that they are old. U2 is not old. Elton John is not old. Billy Joel is not old. If you're going to change anything add some classics from the 40's. People don't want the freshest wine they can get, or the newest antiques, they want them aged. What is going to happen when all of the old men who are wearing baggy slacks and oversized short sleeved button-up collard shirts die out and the only old people are the flashy 80's rejects who look like they are straight outta Vegas? I don't want to be around to see that, I want to meet some real classy old folks with a sense of humor who worked hard and lived respectable God-fearing lives. Not a bunch of aging people who have no sense of history or original thought.
And what the heck is happening to oldies stations??!! now its hits of the 60's, 70's and 80's! what about the 50's?!! If I liked 80's I would listen to an 80's and 90's station. What makes them oldies is that they are old. U2 is not old. Elton John is not old. Billy Joel is not old. If you're going to change anything add some classics from the 40's. People don't want the freshest wine they can get, or the newest antiques, they want them aged. What is going to happen when all of the old men who are wearing baggy slacks and oversized short sleeved button-up collard shirts die out and the only old people are the flashy 80's rejects who look like they are straight outta Vegas? I don't want to be around to see that, I want to meet some real classy old folks with a sense of humor who worked hard and lived respectable God-fearing lives. Not a bunch of aging people who have no sense of history or original thought.
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