How to behave at a concert.

It makes me laugh when I go to see a band play and people in the audience act like apes. They aren't even necessarily drunk, they just seem to do the dumbest things when they go to a show.
I've noticed that whenever somebody in a band (usually the opening band) takes a sip of beer, people cheer and yell things like "hell yeah!!". It's like "whoa he drinks beer!!! awesome duder!!!" All the while I'm thinking "how refreshing and hydrating is that?" If I was going to spend a lot of energy playing a concert I think I'd be drinking some water or some coffee. I heard The Decendents drink like 8 cups of coffee before each show, (which makes sense if you've heard them play).
Another thing that irks me is whenever the crappy opening band try's to be all "shocking" and "rebellious" (usually in a feeble attempt to mask the fact that they can't actually play music). The formula is simple...cuss. In cussing a lot it will show potential fans that you don't go with the flow!, that you are cooler than bands who just play music and don't engage their (mostly intoxicated) audience in loud vague conversation. Like when the band comes out and says "Whats UUP!!!" how you feelin' tonight?!?! and the audience just goes "yyyeaaah!!" "Woooo!!!". Think about it, when was the last time you had a conversation with someone and when they asked you how you were doing, you said "YYYEEEEAAA!!!!" ? Think about your response to the question. Try yelling out "Pretty good...Thanks!" at a concert, I bet you will be the only one who says anything that doesn't just add to the crowd's noise.
Another way I like to heckle bands that are totally about shock and image is after their first song start loudly chanting "Play one more !!.. Play one more!!" (try to get others to chant along, because , hey they aren't thinking anyway). Theres another sort of game I made up I like to play in concert lines I call "blackshirt". I just walk up and down the line of "hardcore" kids waiting outside with those (two sizes too small) black t-shirts on , and point to each one I see as I walk to the back of the line and just say "blackshirt" every time I pass one. If you play it, you pretty much end up saying it like "blackshirtblackshirtblackshirt" etc. Its fun because all the kids wearing them start looking around at all the other kids who have them on and slowly realize how un-original they are, how a black shirt and butt-tight girls jeans have sort of become their uniform.
It also makes me laugh when guys wear those kinds of clothes but with a scarf on. its like wearing a parka and swimtrunks. T-shirts with scarves it's so pretentious you just have to laugh, but not out-loud, because they might cry to impress their sickly looking cindy lauper wannabe girlfriends and make you look like a bully.